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Please help me.
#1
Hello, please can you leave me some comments as to how to improve my PS? thankyou very much...

Since cutting open my finger by skiing over it as a 10 year old and watching with equal
amounts of curiosity and horror the blood flow over my bone, I have had a firm interest in
medicine. In my opinion the combination of applied science and caring for the needy make
medicine an ideal profession. Science has always been my chief interest in school, focussing
particularly on human anatomy in biology lessons. This desire to learn about the way the body
works and the effects that certain drugs have upon it fuels my aspirations to become a doctor.

Two weeks spent at Musgrove Park Hospital in Taunton shadowing many different specialists
allowed me to appreciate the many and diverse career paths that are available to a qualified
doctor. I also noted the necessity for a calm and industrious attitude, as the modern doctor
must not only treat patients and reassure relatives but also seek to meet the targets and
initiatives required by the NHS. This factor was particularly prevalent in the minds of
doctors I met during two days in the Accident and Emergency unit. Distinctly memorable was my
involvement in helping to reposition an elderly lady's dislocated shoulder. Watching several
operations, I perceived the supportive and cooperative nature of the operating theatre,
coupled with the various complementary roles of the medical team. Particularly interesting
was observing a caesarean section, and how varicose veins are removed. I have passed 3 days
at a local GP surgery where I was fascinated at the variety of ailments presented by the
patients, and the sympathetic approach displayed by the doctor. For the past year working as
a volunteer at a care home has allowed me to witness some of the problems that arise with the
aged, particularly the varying stages of dementia. From these experiences I have developed a
more empathic, patient and compassionate attitude; they have also allowed me to realise that
despite the many advances in medicine, there are still numerous conditions as yet incurable;
and that there is a potentially upsetting side of medicine that all doctors will face. I have
discovered that doctors play a vital role in maintaining the quality of life for some, rather
than solely saving lives.

My recent appointment as School Captain allows me to display qualities of leadership and
approachability which I consider vital for a doctor to possess. Also, my intellectual ability
has been recognised by my school awarding me a rare academic scholarship. Correspondingly,
involving myself with school debates has taught me to think rationally and to communicate
clearly. Competing at county level in athletics and being made Athletics Captain at school
were two particularly exciting sporting achievements, although I am also a dedicated rugby
and hockey player. Singing as a tenor in the school Chapel Choir and a local
semi-professional choir offers me enjoyment through music, especially through various tours
abroad including singing in the Vatican. Similarly, playing my trumpet in many school
ensembles and a self-organised band instils me with a sense of teamwork. This is echoed in
working towards my Gold Duke of Edinburgh award with a successful expedition to the Brecon
Beacons this summer. As a member of the 'commandos' in my school's CCF, I have developed
self-reliance that provides me with the confidence to undertake complex tasks with relish.
***Filtered*** dramatics also feature as a favourite pastime; I have commanded a number of lead
roles, including Oliver in 'Oliver Twist' and Prince Charming in Sondheim's 'Into the Woods'.

My experiences have strengthened my desire to study medicine; the subject which I am so
passionate about learning and practising in later life. I believe that I possess the
requisite amalgam of characteristics to become a doctor, and that I am disciplined enough to
persist at my chosen vocation until I succeed.
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#2
i think its excellent because you show an equal amount of passion and intellegence for the subject. i hope you do well
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#3
thanks very much, hope you do well too
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