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Computing Personal Statement (first few paragraphs)
#1
From an early age I have been fascinated by the role of computers, the amount of potential that they hold, and the amazing rate in which the computing industry was evolving. Ever since I acquired an old IBM from my father at the age of seven, I developed a keen interest investigating their possibilities. Later my discovery of the power of the Internet seemed to secure this throughout my education.

My interest in computing has not been limited just to education; watching the evolution of my father’s company design and create ‘project centric’ construction software has always fueled it. His company became committed to making IT easy for construction businesses to realise dramatic productivity gains and significant cost reductions through automation and supply chain data management, which helped to build long-term partnerships by connecting their industry supply chain partners.

He always ensured I had enough part time and holiday work so that I could cover data management, web design and electronic content management, yet I have only managed to scratch the surface with the different type of technology solutions his company delivers.

The A-levels I chose to study allowed me to expand my passion for computing, and gave me a much broader insight into this field of study. The second major influencing factor has been my computing teacher, who has always tried to incorporate the business aspect into his teaching of the subject.
In addition, studying Chemistry and Biology has strengthened my analytical and evaluation techniques, which I believe are helpful skills when working with information technology.


Do i spend too much time on the second paragraph talking about my fathers business? thought it would be ok seeing as i am relating it.

Also the last line of the first para. seems to stop the flow.

Anyways can i have some opinions, feel free to re-qrite some of the poorly written sentances.
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#2
/bump ?
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#3
jolly good so far mate
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