For me the knowledge of a country’s history is key to unlocking its social make-up and identity. I recognise that history shapes the foundations of social and cultural behaviour and do not live in the false illusion of an eternal present, believing that humanity began with my birth. It is because of this that I want to study history at university. It impassions me to able to unravel the past like a detective story, dissecting other historians’ interpretations to events and forming my own.

help!

I'd just jiggle your phrasing around a bit to make it start more punchily. The ideas here are good, but it's a bit of a weak start.....so how about this?

History shapes the foundations of social and cultural behaviour. I do not live in the false illusion of an eternal present, believing that humanity began with my birth, for me the knowledge of a country’s history is key to unlocking its social make-up and identity. It is because of this that I want to study history at university. It impassions me to able to unravel the past like a detective story, dissecting other historians’ interpretations to events and forming my own.

Sorry, Anabel, that was me answering you above - I forgot (as usual!) to log on! Hope that helps - have you posted the rest on the confidential review section yet?

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